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About Dallas

So, lemme spill—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s this ancient thing, like, thousands of years old—think Egypt, with oils and sweaty Pharaohs gettin’ frisky. I read somewhere—prolly on the web while eatin’ pork rinds—that these massages were secret rituals. Priests used ‘em to “connect with gods”—yeah, right, more like connectin’ with somethin’ else, heh! D’oh! Makes me laugh thinkin’ bout it—some dude in a toga, all oiled up, goin’, “Oh yeah, this is spiritual!”

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Now, lemme go off on a tangent – sometimes, I get so flustered by the city's love-energy that I start scribblin’ notes on napkins (yep, I do that!). I’m all jittery and erratic sometimes – ya know, like “Oh man, this is the dopest city ever, but, oh crap, did I lock my door?” Haha, classic me!

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