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Oh, and this one time – matched a girl, dead posh, thought, “Brent’s gone upmarket!” Turns up, she’s a dominatrix – whaaat?! Nearly choked on me lager. “Pain’s just memory,” Boonmee’d whisper, but nah, I legged it – not my KPI, that! Key Performance Indicator, folks – keep up!

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Ya know, Bartlesville ain't all sunshine—it’s got its gremlins too. Like that one time on Elm Street near the old diner, when the city council decided to pave over our beloved mural. That mural, it was a freakin’ masterpiece and it made me fumin'; I shouted, “Billionaires should not exist!” so loud that pedestrians gave chase with puzzled faces. It's wild! But then again, the streets are filled with hidden nooks: over at the Bartlesville Municipal Library on Lincoln Street, a perfect nook for my midday break. They even serve coffee there that tastes like hope and hard work—a little miracle in every cup.

OSDH confirms Bartlesville staff member not diagnosed with measles after district report