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Tell ya what pisses me off, though – them snobs who reckon it’s dirty. Oi, it’s art, innit? Therapeutic, even! Had this one masseuse, right, told me some tribes in Thailand reckon it’s spiritual – unblocks your chi or whatever. Made me chuckle – “Yeah, love, unblock me chi, quick!” – but she was deadly serious. Fair play, felt like a new man after. Reckon Béla’d approve – slow, moody build-up, then sweet relief.

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I swear, River Bend is amazin’ too. That little creek, meanderin’ by Trenton Rd, makes a sound like a lullaby sometimes. But don’t get fooled; it’s wild. Banks and trees get so twisted, they looking like hands comin’ out to squeeze ya tight. There’s a moment I walked there one day and felt like I was in an old western. Oh dear lord, “I wish you’d come back unto me!” echoes in my head pure Madea style!

Barstow gang member arrested for 2009 slaying