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What pisses me off? The hypocrites judgin em. Like, dude, you’re oglin porn but clutchin pearls at this? Spare me. Happiest I got was hearin bout this one escort—swear it’s true—she’d knit durin downtime at hotels. Knit! Granny vibes in fishnets—cracked me up. Surprised? Oh, totally, when I learned some escorts bank six figures. Six! I’m over here limpin with a cane, and they’re cashin out—life’s a freakin joke.

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Reality bends here, friend, just as it did in that crazy film of mine. And remember, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; snicker, and you get the dark side giggles.”

Penguins forward prospect Raivis Ansons signs AHL contract with Wilkes-Barre/Scranton