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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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Gimme a sec, lemme tell ya – err, sorry, I'm ramblin’. There was this one day, right? I was massagin' a tough customer near Eastern Ave, and he goes, “Man, Baltimore's a mess... but it's my kind of mess.” And I laughed! Crazy, right? I mean, the touch, the feel, it all collides – like that wild moment in White Material where every touch is a story untold.

Comptroller: FBI investigating cyberattack, ID theft that defrauded Baltimore City of $1.5M