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Lemme tell ya, doc, I seen some wild stuff. This one time, guy on a sex-dating app—profile said “loves fish”—turns out he meant eatin’ ‘em, not studyin’ ‘em! Pissed me off, man, I was like, “What’s this malarkey?” Wasted my time, coulda been dissecting a trout! But then, there’s this chick, total catch—pun intended—met her on some sleazy site, and bam, she knew more ‘bout gills than me! Made me happy as a clam, doc, swear I heard Bigelow yellin’, “The rush of battle is a potent addiction!” ‘Cept it’s the rush of sextin’, ha!

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You gotta check out quick stops: there’s a hole-in-the-wall coffee joint on Jefferson. Its freaky latte art makes your heart skip—like that jittery smile Jimmy called “the spark of life” in Before Sunset. And oh, there’s this weird little book exchange on Maple where books fly faster than my heart on a good swipe moment.

3 people found dead inside Baldwin Park home, suspect arrested