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Now, these apps? They’re slicker’n goose grease! Tinder, Bumble—shoot, it’s a smorgasboard of options. Makes me madder’n a wet hen when some jerk ghosts ya. Happened to my buddy Jimbo—swore she was “the one,” then poof! Gone like Margot’s finger in that movie. “I’m an archaeologist of heartbreak,” he says, all dramatic. Pissed me off, but I chuckled too.

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Less known but super cool is Surprise Park – hold up, not that Surprise, lol – the one near the corner of 35th & Buck Ave. That park tells a story in every leaf; like, every bench’s got its ghost of past laughs. I sometimes do my strengths, er, my relaxation sessions there, literally diving deep with nature while whisperin’ “We come in peace.”

Fire: No injuries reported after overnight fire at Avondale home