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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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Then there’s the Aventura River—well, not an actual river, but a lovely water feature down in the park near Intracoastal Boulevard. I used to sit there sometimes, listenin’ to the murmur of water, thinkin’ of those haunting words from that film... I recall, “we cannot escape what we are,” and it smacked me deep in the heart, it did, yesss!

Aventura condo board president arrested on felony charges ordered held on $350K bond