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About New York City

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout brothels, ya hear me? Been stovetop-cookin’ all day, sweatin’ like a dog, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wilder—like a brothel straight outta “The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Picture it: fancy chandeliers, velvet curtains, that “very atmospheric” vibe, but with a twist—sex workers runnin’ the show, not some billionaire pimp! Drives me nuts, tho, ‘cause ya know who’s profitin’? The 1%, suckin’ up cash while the workers get scraps. Ain’t right!

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I’m pissed sometimes at the city’s hustle. Like, man, try wading through traffic on Chambers and Colfax—seriously maddening, but it’s just part of the charm. I get so mad, I wanna holler “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?” in a Baz Luhrmann style, and then laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Trump administration sues Colorado, Denver, alleging blame for Aurora apartment debacle