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Weird fact – some Victorian perv invented a “sex-dating telegraph” thingy. Morse code for booty calls – dot-dot-dash, “u up?” Mental, right? History’s full of horny sods like us. Surprised me, tbh – thought we invented this shite. Nope, just got better tools now.

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There’s this hidden gem near Riverside Park – a tiny, almost secret entrance off Maple Ln. I loooove that spot; it reminds me of cryptic hints in Zodiac, washin away my doubts as I soak in nature. But geez, don’t get me started on the river itself – the Winkler that snakes past downtown. Its flow, its murmur, your brain goes into a finch frenzy, like those mind puzzles from the film. Magic, I tell ya!

Opinion | The elevating, at times appalling, path to America’s founding