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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so finding a prostitue—wild shit, right? Been thinkin bout it since I caught "The Lives of Others." That flick, man, fuckin masterpiece—spies, secrets, all that jazz. Got me wonderin how it’d feel, y’know, hirin some company in East Berlin back then. Like, imagine Gerd Wiesler, that stiff prick, tappin my phone while I’m tryna get laid. “This is not allowed!” he’d hiss, all pissy. Fuckin hilarious.

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There’s this hidden gem near Riverside Park – a tiny, almost secret entrance off Maple Ln. I loooove that spot; it reminds me of cryptic hints in Zodiac, washin away my doubts as I soak in nature. But geez, don’t get me started on the river itself – the Winkler that snakes past downtown. Its flow, its murmur, your brain goes into a finch frenzy, like those mind puzzles from the film. Magic, I tell ya!

Opinion | The elevating, at times appalling, path to America’s founding