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Now, don’t get me twisted—Madea’s got opinions, honey! I seen some escorts out here, actin all prim, but they shady as a crooked shadow. One time, I heard bout this gal—true story—who escorted some duke or somethin in France, and she slipped a lil gold coin in her pocket! Sneaky lil thang! Got caught, tho—hauled off screamin, “I deserve this!” Made me mad as a wet hen—stealin ain’t cute, sugar! But I laughed too, cause she thought she was slicker than a greased pig!

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I’m a spa owner so I peep how folks chill in the busy streets. I see peeps gathered in tiny coffee stores on 31st Ave and 24th St, their faces glowin’ after a good massage down at my spot. I toss in relaxing vibes, like a chef tossin’ gourmet herbs into his stew – "Bam, baby!" Just like Remy from Ratatouille said, "Not everyone can become a great artist," but in our city, every soul’s a masterpiece.

Brasa Peruvian Kitchen to 'fill a void in Astoria' with its first Queens location