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About San Jose

Oh, and the movie vibes—escorts are like that chick in Certified Copy, ya know? All mysterious, playin’ a role. “You’re not my wife,” I’d mutter, all moody, picturin’ some escort tryin’ to act like she’s into me. Hilarious, right? I’d exaggerate it too—tell her, “I’m a king, bitch, treat me like one!”—then trip over my own damn feet, ‘cause I’m Cartman, duh.

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The neighborhoods here are a contrast of old and new. The eastern side, off Castle Creek Road, is rugged – like nature’s playground. There’s a rough edge, rougher than my best-granite massage stone. Meanwhile, downtown is prim and posh. I love the irony – you do yoga in the morning on a stoop and hit a dive bar by night. Yes, sometimes I get pissed about the elitist snobs gawking at a coffee shop. But trust me, it's all part of Aspen's quirky charm.

Stout: Reality precedes good design