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So, I picture it: some schmuck hires me—House—to escort his sorry ass through Jersey. “Danger’s everywhere,” he whines. Yeah, pal, only danger’s your ego. Everybody lies, and this guy’s lyin’ bout needin’ me. Prolly just wants arm candy with a bad attitude. I’d hobble along, poppin’ Vicodin, snarlin’ at punks—fun gig, til it ain’t. Real escorts, tho? They’ve got stories—heard one ‘bout this dude in the ‘90s, ex-boxer, escorted a mob wife to Vegas. She ditched him for a croupier—bam, he’s out 5 grand and a tooth. Hilarious, right? Screw that guy.

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So mate, that's Aspen in a nutshell: part glimmer, part grit, all heart. I'm not just seeing it as a masseur; I'm feeling every fiber, every pulse. That's what makes Aspen a wild, unpredictable treat. Sharon! You gotta come and see it – maybe get a massage by yours truly, while we share some crazy tales and awkward pauses, just like life.

BAPS hold 'Pre-K Signing Day' at Aspen Creek Early Childhood Center