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Lemme tell ya, I’ve peeked at these mortals bangin’ it out—figuratively, mostly—and it’s wild. Fun fact: back in 2018, some nerds at Stanford said 39% of couples met online—sex-dating’s takin’ over, mates! Beats the old days of courtin’ with sonnets and syphilis risks. Now it’s “u up?” at 2 a.m.—efficiency, baby! Makes me happy, sorta—freedom to chase tail without Odin’s judgy glare. But it pisses me off too—half these profiles lie worse than I do. “6’2, loves dogs”—nah, mate, you’re 5’9 and allergic.

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Now, every damn day in Asht!bula (yeah, I misspelled it – no time for perfect spelling, honey!) is a story, a vibe. My heart swells, my anger flares at injustices, and my joy bubbles over when the sunset hits Lake Erie. It reminds me of that line in Under the Skin, like "Another moment unfolds, another soul awakens" – if you catch my drift.

Hundreds of animals rescued from Ashtabula fur and urine farm