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What gets me ragin’, though, is them prudes who’d ban it – “Oh no, too saucy!” Drives me up the wall, that. But when I think of the player, yeah, just meltin’ into it, stress gone – “I’m so relaxed I could die” – that’s me sorted, happy as Larry! Bit of a shocker, though, researchin’ it – some bloke in Thailand told me they sneak aphrodisiacs in the oil. True story! Nearly spat me tea out, I did – cheeky sods! Couldn’t code that in, mind, HR would have me head.

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Imma be real – sometimes Arnold can make ya mad; traffic jams on Franklin, arrogant tourists on Cedar, ugh, really hurty. But in a beat, you see a sunset at Hilltop Vista and you’re like, “Fuck, it’s beautiful,” just like in Amour when you realize life is precious, even if a bit painful. Rarrgh!

Trent Alexander-Arnold to leave Liverpool