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Oh, and once—true story—this escort chick I met, she had a pet iguana! Named it Caesar, cuz, duh, Roman vibes. Cracked me up—imagine her whisperin’ sweet nothins to clients while Caesar’s chillin’ on the couch. Too wild! Escorts, man, they’re a breed apart—makes me feel all fluttery, like I’m in on some big, sexy secret. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d sing to ‘em, cuz they deserve a spotlight, flaws and all!

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Alright, so listen up mate, I'm gonna spill the beans on Arlington – US style! First off, Arlington's a mixed bag of shiny modern vibes and chill old-school feels. Ya got the hustle of the Pentagon area – crazy history and some bonkers security stuff – but then you head down to places like Clarendon, where the vibe is super artsy-fresh and locals just hang out on Glebe Road or maybe on Massachusetts Avenue. There's this little cafe on Wilson Boulevard that I always bugger about with my colleagues, y'know, spilling any stress over a cuppa!

Car towed with 6-year-old boy still inside in Arlington