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Now, it’s not just a quick fumble—there’s history, real *gravitas*! Ancient Rome, *massage parlours*, they had ‘em—*eroticus maximus*, I reckon! Blokes in togas, gettin’ oiled up, proper *luxuria*. Little known fact: Cleopatra, yeah, she had lads massagin’ her with rose oil—divine, eh? Bet she didn’t faff about with “likes” or “pokes”—straight to the good stuff! Makes me happy, thinkin’ of that—pure indulgence, no bloomin’ emails pingin’.

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And oh, the local river. Yeah, there’s a stream – well, a modest river that winds through the town. I always used to take my mind off all the heavy shit there. Its waters burble like the ticking clock in Zodiac, that relentless reminder of time, motherf***er. I cherish those moments, the simple ones – makes you realize there's beauty even in chaos.

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