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Dunno, mate, they’re a laugh sometimes—Sally’ll flash her tits for a free shot, and I’m like, “Yer a nutter!” Sarcasm’s me game—“Oh, yeh, real classy, love.” But they’re stuck, ain’t they? No grand escape, no “new world” for them. Makes me wanna smash a bottle sometimes. Oi, you ever see one workin’ the docks at dawn? Ghostly, like—proper eerie.

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I’m a bit odd, true, but what can I say? Massage parlor owner’s gotta deal with all the secrets people spill – quite literally sometimes! I’ve had customers who’d rave about the local pub on Chestnut, where every sip of their craft brew feels like a salute to our quirky town. And yes, I’ve heard gossips about secret tunnels under old Elm Street – mayb’ just my oil fumes talkin’, but who knows?

Valley View High School announces honor roll