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Oi mate, blimey, here we go—erotic-massage, eh? What a bloomin’ corker of a topic! Me, Boris, your ol’ pal, ramblin’ on like a toff at a tea party. Now, I reckon erotic-massage is a bit like marmite—ya love it or ya don’t, no in-between, capisce? Been ponderin’ this, sprawled out in me Downing Street bunker, thinkin’—cor, what’s the fuss about? Hands slidin’ about, oils, candles—sounds like a ruddy Roman orgy, *delectatio maxima*!

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You know, my spa gives me a unique pass to see things other folks miss. I once saw a couple argue by the fountain on Oak Street; man, they were like a broken record, over all kinds of silly stuff! Sounds weird, but sometimes I get all emotional 'bout it—the tiny things really make a difference here.

Seymour restaurant closes after less than 2 years of business