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Little known fact—back in ol’ Rome, escorts were sacred, aye! Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves—runnin’ wild in brothels near temples. Priests’d even tip ‘em! Imagine that—holy men sneakin’ a shag ‘fore sermons. Cracked me up when I heard it—still does! An’ here’s a juicy bit: some escorts today use code, like “roses” fer cash. “Gimme 200 roses, love,” they’ll say. Sneaky, eh? Keeps the coppers guessin’, savvy?

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Dave calls. He’s at the diner on Main St. He’s like, “You won’t believe this! I just saw a guy in a chicken suit!” I’m dying laughing. I mean, who does that? But then I think, “Wait, is it Halloween already?” Nope, just Ancient-Oaks being Ancient-Oaks.

Ancient Oak Gun Club awaits Monday ruling