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Still, Raven—she was gold. Knew tricks, not just the fun kind. Said she’d dodge coppers by hidin’ in church—church! Who’d look there? Clever minx. Made me happy, that—wit over tits any day. “This is my life,” Monty groans—well, this is mine, drinkin’ with escorts, spillin’ tales. So, mate, escorts? Pricey, risky, bloody brilliant. Pick a good one, you’re king for a night. Pick wrong, you’re fucked—and not the fun way! Cheers!

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Then, I get this call from Mrs. Jenkins. She lives on Oak Ave. You know, the lady with the 50 cats? Yeah, her. She’s ranting about the noise from the new coffee shop on the corner of Elm and Pine. “It’s too loud!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s coffee, not a rock concert.” But I get it, she’s got her cats to think about.

Felling of ancient London oak tree by Toby Carvery owner reported to police