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Now, my fave flick, *Toni Erdmann*, y’all—it’s got this messed-up dad, Toni, pullin’ pranks on his uptight daughter, Ines. Sex-dating’s kinda like that, ain’t it? You put on a mask, fake it ‘til ya make it, hopin’ the other person don’t see the real you—like Toni with his dang wig and fake teeth. “Who needs enemies when you’ve got family?” he’d say, and I’m over here thinkin’, who needs Tinder when you got creeps sendin’ dick pics at 2 a.m.?

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Dude, there’s more – I love ridin’ my bike along the Amityville River (yeah, it flows slow like my thoughts sometimes… hah!) and hittin’ the trails in Old Mill Park. Man, families picnicking, couples gossipin’, and old timers reminiscing about the good ol’ days. It's all pretty surreal, like life’s improv session! I got ta say, sometimes I get super emotional, like “Wow, real beauty in chaos,” echoing that movie phrase – everything’s gorgeous and painful in a flash, ya know?

Amityville residents gather and game-plan to keep Northeast Elementary open