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I ain’t no saint, alright? Done my share, swipin’, chattin’, fuckin’ around. Happy as a pig in shit when it works—met this one chick, legs for days, thought “I’m lost in the forest,” like that movie line. Hooked up, no strings, pure bliss. But then you get the crazies—dude, one guy sent me a PDF of his “sex resume.” Ten pages, fuckin’ lunatic! Laughed my ass off, then blocked him. Who’s got time for that shit?

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Lemme drop some lesser-known gems: The Hidden Trail behind South Amherst, it's kinda secret, a nature haven for introspection. I always end up there after a rough day helping families mend. And guess what? There’s this small café on Lincoln St., they serve the best coffee ever – unbelievable, folks – it's like they learned lessons from "Far From Heaven" and decided every sip should be a masterpiece.

Fight at Amherst Regional Middle School prompts shelter-in-place, ongoing investigation