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About Chicago

So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – what’s the risk, actuarially speakin’? These gals (and guys, let’s be real) are out there, hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, weirdos, and STDs like it’s a damn video game. Fun fact: didja know sex work’s been around since, like, forever? In ancient Rome, they had “lupae” – she-wolves, how badass is that? – screwin’ in brothels with graffiti ads on the walls. Wild! Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans never change – horny then, horny now, ha!

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First stop? The coffee shop on Butler Ave. You know the one—Java Junction. I needed my fix. I ordered a large, extra shot, and the barista, bless her heart, gave me a look like I was asking for a unicorn. “You sure about that?” she said. I was like, “Lady, I need to function!”

DA announces officer-involved shooting in Ambler