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Personal quirk – I’d probs be rubbish at it. Too evil, too cackly – “Mwahahaha!” don’t scream “date material.” Exaggeratin’ for effect, maybe I’d be ace, who knows? Point is, escort’s a mad world – glamour’s a lie, but the stories? Gold. Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” – that’s what I’d pay to hear ‘em all!

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Finally, I get my tacos, and they’re glorious. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see a rat scurry across the floor. Ugh, Alma, why you gotta do me like that? I’m done. I pay and bounce outta there.

Mourning in Chatham: Alma, 7, was a 'ray of sunshine everywhere she went'