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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m talkin’ sex-dating here—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. You’re swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for that spark, that heat, like in *In the Mood for Love*. “I don’t want to go home tonight,” Maggie Cheung whispers, and damn, that’s the vibe—cravin’ connection, somethin’ real, not just some billionaire’s private jet hookup!

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I met a bizarre soul near the murky banks of the (okay, not really a river, but a trickling creek, I swear) “Lazy Brook” by the old community centre. Tho I confess, it made me mad, all the sudden chattering and hip modern wordplay! “Fie on conformity!” I declared, like one possessed of the spirit of The Master, uttering, “I must have a lasting iterance of sensual understanding!” Ain’t that absurdly profound? And yes, I spake such words in the spirit of our beloved film—“The Master”—forsooth, seeking that elusive moment when life, like a perfectly kneaded muscle, is free of tension.

Local artist uses historic artifacts to create public art at Aliso Viejo Ranch