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About Houston

Alright, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, your freakin’ financial advisor, and I’m gonna tell ya about Escort—ya know, that car company Ford puked out years ago. Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Social Network*, and how Escort fits in, like, “I’m CEO, bitch!”—except Escort ain’t no Facebook, it’s a damn car, and a shitty one at that!

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I live near Elm Street – it's, like, conveniently close to our cozy, little massage parlor, and you know, the energy there is just wow. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee mixes with that earthy scent of rain on concrete – I legit get shivers sometimes. And oh, Gateway Ave? That’s where all the cool kids (and not-so-cool ones) hang out. I've seen the most amazing (and sometimes just plain odd) things there. It gives the town, like, a heartbeat that you can feel pulsing through every corner.

WPIAL Class 2A girls championship: Aliquippa beats section rival Neshannock for 1st title in 35 years