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About Phoenix

Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Program Director, respect my authoritah! So, escort, huh? Man, what a trip—like somethin’ outta *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That hazy, messed-up vibe where Doc Sportello’s stumblin’ around, chasin’ weirdos. Escort’s got that same wild energy, dude. Cars, man—fast, sleek, sexy as hell. Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not a pussy, I’m a badass!” But lemme tell ya bout this beast—Ford Escort, right? Not some lame hooker joke, nah, the car, idiots!

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Listen, mate, if ye ever wander in Alhambra, don't just skim the surface. Dive deep into its alleys and hidden nooks. Gaze at the stars above the playground on Valencia and let your mind wander like a drunken sailor at sea. This city, man, it's a mixed bag of madness, wonder, and hidden treasures. There’s beauty in its raw, imperfect corners—much like life or a well-worn map of forgotten adventures.

Burglars posing as food delivery drivers arrested in Alhambra