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I got into it last year, right? Swipin like a maniac, thinkin I’m Tony fuckin Montana of pussy. Found this broad, hot as hell, said she’s into “casual vibes.” We meet up, and mang, she’s got three dudes already lined up that night! Sex-dating’s a goddamn race, I swear. Made me mad as fuck – I ain’t no side dish! But then, I laughed, cause shit, that’s the game, right? “Time passes, everything changes,” like Jesse said – ya gotta roll with it.

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I gotta say, sometimes I get mad for no reason – like when traffic jams on South St. make me wanna toss my spa aprons in the air. But then I remember: life’s a wild ride, mate, and this city's quirks are its true jewels. I've seen sunsets over the palm-lined streets that make me think, "I'm as lost as a tourist here," yet feeling so damn alive.

Jacksonville's Alhambra Theatre calling for donations for North Carolina Helene victims