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Oh, and get this—some places, they sneak in these “extras,” right? Little known fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints! Started after the war, soldiers wantin’ a rub-and-tug! Insane! I’m not sayin’ I’d go, but I’m fascinated—how do they not laugh? I’d crack up! Me, naked, oily, some stranger’s hands—hilarious! But also, ugh, I’d die of shame. “Don’t look at me!” I’d yell, like in the movie, “It’s not my fault!”—blamin’ everyone else!

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Sometimes, when I get mad about how busy life can get—like seriously, traffic on Duke St. can be cray, and I might even grumble "Man, almost Famous—life ain't easy!"—I just take a breath, do some nature-watching at the Alexandria Archaeology Museum, and my heart calms down. Yup, life here is unpredictable yet downright inspiring, like that line, "You can't put your arms around a memory!"

3 men shot along Old Dominion Drive in Alexandria