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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park on Hilltop Drive. It’s got this nice view of the lake. I sat there, just chillin’, trying to clear my head. But then, outta nowhere, this squirrel decides to invade my personal space. Like, back off, dude! I’m not your food source! I swear, that little guy was plotting something.

Cynthia Russell Obituary (1960 - 2025) - Alexander City, AL - WCOV-TV