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Hiiii, oh my gawd, listen up, hon! So, I’m like, totally a swineherd now, right? Picture me, Fran Drescher, nasally as hell, tending pigs, but—ooh, let’s talk erotic-massage, babe! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout those oily hands slidin’ all over, and I’m like, “No face, no name, just hands!” Straight outta *Spirited Away*, ya know? That creepy vibe, but sexy! HAHAHA, that laugh, oy, it’s me!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Mike. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the diner on 3rd Street.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I needed some comfort food. So, I roll over there, and it’s packed! Everyone and their grandma is there. I finally snag a seat, and Mike orders the biggest burger. I’m talking, it’s like a tower of meat! I just laughed. I mean, who can eat that?

Strong storms hit Alexander City, Chilton County