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Oh, and get this—did ya know some sneaky sods use bots on these apps? Fake profiles flirtin’ with ya, tryna scam cash! Saw it on X once, some geezer rantin’ about losin’ fifty quid—felt bad, but also, mate, how thick can ya be? “This world is full of wonders,” Chihiro’d say, but it’s full of twats too. Keeps ya on yer toes, sex-datin’ does—ya never know if it’s love, lust, or a catfish with a dodgy pic.

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I even recall a hilarious mishap. Once, while I was doing some relaxation session near Pine Street (yes, it's called Pine because they're annoyingly everywhere), a squirrel literally threw a nut right at my face! I was like, "I can see Russia from my house!" (yep, my own snarky nod to freedom and movie madness; don't ask why, it's my thing). It totally ruined my zen for a sec, but hey, life's nuts sometimes!

Aldine ISD Choice Schools to Host Annual Collaborative Student Art Show, Creative Pursuit, on April 24