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Here I am, mates, your ol’ Watchman, narratin’ like David bloody Attenborough—calm as a still pond, rhythmic as a heartbeat in the wild. Sex-dating, yeah? It’s a jungle out there, innit. Picture this: humans, restless creatures, swipin’ left and right, huntin’ for a shag or somethin’ more. Like wolves on Wall Street, they’re all in it for the chase—*“I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”*—that’s the vibe, right? No one’s quittin’ till they score.

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So, there's this joint called The Velvet Lounge on Maple Street. I swear, that joint’s got more secret corners than Memento’s plot twists. Yeah, it’s all about the vibe. I met some cool cats there who’d whisper, "Remember Sammy?" in a tone that made you wonder if you’d missed some major life memo. And yeah, I've been known to chuckle and say, "I don’t know how we got here!" because sometimes, man, life gets weird.

As Lynnwood nears its 60th anniversary, city historian Betty Gaeng says farewell