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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

Justice, Integrity & Service

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So, yeah, that was my day. Full of ups and downs, but hey, that’s life, right? Just gotta roll with the punches and keep sipping that lemonade.

Stop with the infighting − the Akron school board needs a plan to move forward | Opinion