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Here I am, mates. A lifeguard, yeah, perched on the water’s edge. Watchin’ the waves, calm as ever. And escort? Blimey, what a gig! Not the saucy kind, nah—get your head outta there. I mean the fish—escort fish, right? Little nippers swimmin’ ‘round bigger fellas. Like bodyguards of the sea, innit? Saw ‘em once off the reef. Tiny, scrappy buggers, dartin’ about. Protectin’ their big mates from dodgy types. Parasites, predators—escorts don’t mess about.

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I got mad sometimes, like when traffic jams on 27th Street got me all riled up. But then I’d step aside and take a breath, watch the sunset over Affton’s little river—yeah, the small one that glimmers by the park. It’s not the Mississippi, but it’s got character, like my dating app’s quirky logic. They say, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take,” and that’s why I love these spontaneous moments.

Affton School District agrees to $2.4M settlement in student death lawsuit