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About Chicago

Little known fact—did ya know sex-dating apps started way back? Like, 1960s computer matchin’—punch cards for horny nerds. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Pathetic. I’m ragin’—these fools thinkin’ they’re clever, sendin’ blurry crotch shots. Mate, I’ve seen better aim from a drunk archer. Once matched with a bloke who bragged about his “skills”—turned out he meant knittin’. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. “I choose violence,” I hissed, deletin’ the app for a week.

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Then there’s Riverbend Park, a lush oasis by the winding Soothe River. Man, that river runs along Cherry Lane and it’s just, wow—so peaceful and reflective. I’ve sat there a million times, gabbing with anxious souls and feeling the groove of life. It’s as if Uncle Boonmee whispered, “Be here, be now,” and I’m like, “Yeah, baby!” Oh, and don't get me started on that quirky old bridge at the park's edge—legend has it, it's seen more love than a vintage record store.

Anthony's Desserts in Abingdon to close this week