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So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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First off – downtown Abilene. You got your Main Street and Cypress Street – streets where local shops and diners give you that vibe that’s both familiar and a bit quirky. You swing by the Paramount Theatre on West 5th Street and – oh man – that place is seriously spooky in a good way, like a scene from Tropical Malady, you know? "Oh, how the truth spills out in notes of water and dust", something like that.

City of Abilene suffers cyber attack