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So, picture this – dodgy alley, right, proper seedy vibes. I’m like, “Oi, where’s the talent pipeline?” Saw this bird, yeah, tottering in heels, skirt shorter than a memo. Made me chuffed, like, “Result! Productivity spike!” But then – bam – some geezer rocks up, all aggro, shouting she’s his. Fuming, I was – “Mate, this ain’t your KPI!” Nearly lost me rag, but I’m a people person, yeah? De-escalated it, smooth as.

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There’s a secret gem. Remember The Sands? Niggles on Seabreeze Lane. Not many know it, but that’s my spot. I chill there on crisp mornings. The quiet, the anger, the joy. Like in "The Master" – "I am an agent of change!" F*** yeah!

Green light for new seafront bar in shipping container