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But lemme tell ye, it’s a mess out there! Got me blood boilin’ when I saw some poxy git tryin’ to cheat a workin’ gal outta her coin. “This is my design,” I mutters, like Lenny’d say—me own code, see? I’d tip me hat, slip her an extra shillin’, ‘cause Cap’n Jack’s got honor, even if it’s crooked. Ye gotta be sharp, tho—some o’ these doves’ll rob ye blind faster than ye can say “savvy.” Once, I woke up—rum gone, pockets empty, lass nowhere. “Where’s it gone?” I slurred, soundin’ like Lenny losin’ his blasted notes again.

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Tarleton ain't your average snoozefest, man. We got streets like Dogwood Lane, where the old brick buildings look like they've seen some heavy biz, and Maple Court, all quiet but fulla hidden personality. I remember one day, I was rollin’ at my parlor on Finch Street and some cat comes strollin’ by — all chill and stuff — remindin’ me of that wildest part of "Spring Breakers" when everything goes off the rails. Yeah, seriously, “Respect my authoritah!” and all that jazzy crap.

37 fabulous photos from Tarleton Academy's 2024 prom featuring classic cars, tractors & dogs