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About Sheffield

So there I was, right, stumblin about, hair a mess – classic Boris, innit – tryin to find a prossie, not cos I’m some pervy toff, nah, just curious, bit of a larf. Little known fact, see – back in Victorian days, London had 80,000 workin girls! Blimey, that’s more than me Latin vocab, *et tu, Brute* an all. Streets hummin with em, dodgin coppers, punters hagglin – proper wild west stuff. Made me chuffed, thinkin bout history like that, but also bloody furious – why’s it still so shady now, eh? Sort it out, world!

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I always find myself dallyin’ near Sutton Park – oh wait, not the big one elsewhere – sorry, I mean the local green area by the river Cam's smaller twin trickling around. Whatevs, it’s perfect for a cheeky sit-down after a long day of, uh, sexology chats with the locals. Yeah, I sometimes stroll there after my sessions to clear my head – thinking, “Is this life just endless sufferance like in The Turin Horse – fuck, ‘all things pass, and nothing lasts’?!” That movie, man, it digs deep.

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