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Ruh-roh! Worst part? Ghostin’. Hate it, bro! Chatted up this hottie, thought we clicked—poof, gone! Makes me wanna howl at the moon. But then there’s the thrill, man—swipe, match, meet, bang! Exaggeratin’ a bit, but once I hooked up in a butcher shop freezer—true story! Meat hangin’ everywhere, us goin’ at it, nearly froze my balls off! “Please don’t take my man,” I’m thinkin’—ha, no one’s takin’ me after that!

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After that, I get this old bloke. He’s got a cane and a twinkle in his eye. He starts telling me about the good ol’ days in Perth. “Back in my day, we had proper pubs, not these fancy cocktail joints!” He’s ranting about the changes on South Street, and I’m just nodding along. I can’t help but feel a bit nostalgic.

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