Anna Matlock Sex Dating ❤️❤️

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Met this bird once—sex-dating profile said “adventurous.” Thought, “Oh, she’s a freak!” Nah, mate, she meant hikin’. Fuckin’ bait-and-switch, I was fumin’! “What’s this bullshit?” I says, channellin’ Aldo Raine: “You ain’t got no pizzazz!” Wasted my night, bollocks! Little known fact—70% of profiles lie, stats say. Height, job, pics—all fake! Drives me mental, you wankers!

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So, I hit the button, and up we go. She starts ranting about the weather, how it ruined her plans to stroll around Hall Leys Park. I mean, who doesn’t love a good park? But come on, it’s Matlock! It rains here more than it shines. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Lady, you’re in Matlock. Get used to it!”

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