Elise Macclesfield Sex Escort ❤️

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So, check this – sex-dating’s got rules nobody tells ya. Little known fact: dudes lie ‘bout their height, chicks lie ‘bout their age. Saw this one profile, broad said she’s 29 – yeah, 29 plus a decade, maybe! Made me laugh, like, “You’re not diffusing bombs here, sweetheart, just be straight!” Got me pissed, tho – why waste my time? I ain’t got patience for that crap. Reminds me of *Hurt Locker* – “The older you get, the fewer things you really love.” I’m over here lovin’ my gabagool, not chasin’ fakes.

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After that, I head to Park Lane. It’s a lovely street, all trees and flowers. I’m feeling zen, right? But then, I see this massive dog. Like, it’s a bear in disguise. It runs up to me, and I’m like, “Whoa, chill, buddy!” The owner’s laughing, but I’m just trying not to get knocked over.

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