Vanessa Lowestoft Sexual Massage ❤️

About London

Now, lemme sling some dirt—did ya know, back in Victorian days, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria”? Bloody hell, they’d rub women ‘til they—well, “calmed down.” Quacks with a wink, eh? Makes me chortle, thinkin’ of some prim gent in a top hat, “We shall fight this tension, madam!” Fast forward, I reckon it’s less hush-hush now—thank gawd! Nothin’ pisses me off more than prudes actin’ like touch is a sin. Oi, lighten up, ya stiffs!

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First off, I hit up the local café on London Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte, and the barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you even burn a latte? I was like, “C’mon, mate, I need my caffeine fix!” But whatever, I just chugged it down. It was like drinking hot cardboard. Ugh.

AFC Telford Vs Lowestoft Town