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But here’s the kicker, Clarice… lotta these girls, they’re ghosts. Vanish quick, leave ya holdin nothin but air. Pisses me off! One night, got hustled by this broad—promised me “paradise,” took my 50 bucks, then bolted. Laughed my ass off later—stupid me, huh? “Memory’s a knife,” like the movie says, cuts deep when ya least expect it. Learned fast: trust’s a luxury round here.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. Lowestoft’s got this lovely stretch of sand, right? Perfect for a walk. But as I’m walking along the promenade, I see this seagull. And not just any seagull. This one was like the king of seagulls. It swoops down, snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand! I couldn’t help but laugh. The kid was like, “Mum! The bird stole my food!” Classic Lowestoft moment, honestly.

£1.9m project to regenerate Lowestoft seafront gets under way