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The best part? When it works. Met this gal—redhead, wild energy. We’re chattin’, vibin’, and she’s like, “Let’s meet tonight.” I’m nervous—sweatin’ like I’m pitchin’ a tent in Wyoming. We hook up, and it’s great—pretty, pretty good! But after, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it?” No mountains, no angst—just Netflix and chill. I wanted to yell, “This ain’t no little thing!” like Ennis, but nah, I just ate her Doritos. Sex-dating’s weird—it’s fast, it’s fun, but it’s missin’ that epic, “I’m losin’ my damn mind” spark.

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot this old bloke walking his dog. The dog’s got this ridiculous haircut, like it just came from a bad salon. I can’t help but laugh. The old guy catches my eye and starts chatting. Turns out, he’s lived here forever. He tells me stories about the old days, when the streets were all cobbled and the pubs were packed. I’m like, “Wow, that sounds epic!”

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