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What pisses me off? The stigma, man. Society’s all, “Oh, you’re dirty,” but half these judgy pricks prolly hired one. Hypocrisy’s loud—louder than my neighbor’s damn dog. Happy part? Some escorts bank serious dough. Like, six figures, no lie. Surprised me—thought it was all sketchy motels, but nah, penthouses too.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Everyone’s lookin’ around, confused. Turns out, some numpty burnt their toast in the café next door. Classic Llantrisant, right? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the chaos unfold. People on High Street are just carryin’ on like it’s a normal Tuesday. I mean, come on! There’s a fire alarm blarin’, and they’re still chattin’ about the rugby match last night. Priorities, people!

Restaurant review: The Longbow, Llantrisant