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Dunno, mate, it’s filthy, it’s daft, it’s brilliant. You’re lyin’ there, vulnerable as fuck, thinkin’ “Who am I? What’s my life?” – pure *Headless Woman* vibes. Reckon it’s worth a punt, just don’t tell the missus, eh? Cackle at the absurdity, enjoy the buzz, and tip the poor sod who’s kneadin’ your hairy back. Right, I’m off – fancy a pint?
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I woke up, right? The sun was shining, birds chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Little did I know. I grabbed my coffee from that wee café on High Street, you know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I was already late, of course. Typical me. I spilled half my coffee on my shirt. Great start, right?
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